You Are Not What Others Think of You!

 

Above: TED Talk, How philosophy can save your life. YouTube.

 

You Are Not What Others Think of You! (by Vicky Oldham)

Most of us enjoy acceptance by others, and it feels good to be liked and even natural to aspire to our family and friends' goals. Still, what if approval by others is used to exert control that could turn destructive? What happens when it pivots to unfair judgment, disdain, or anger with little to no warning? Are we the product of others' whims? Such dependence may prove precarious, even dangerous, and one may be easily subject to the sways of others' moods and opinions. 

In my philosophy class, I was introduced to a TED talk demonstrating philosophy's value and contribution to the field of psychology. One of the most glaring realizations watching the video is that so much of the discord and anxiety in a person's life is related to an imagined need to control the thoughts and actions of others or to feel like the recipient of such control. It is so common to worry about what others think and how they behave (concerning oneself) and so conditioned in people that they are often unaware of how negatively affected they are. It is often the interpretation of others' thoughts and actions and not their reality that profoundly affects us. We make judgments and blame others but fail to question our own subconscious "running commentary," much like a news feed that fails to check its facts. It is these misguided interpretations and beliefs that cause the most mental suffering. Once the pattern is realized through questioning the reality of our perceptions, we can begin to let go of false, negative beliefs (Evans, 2013). Known as CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), this approach to mental health has met such success in the UK that the nation has apportioned a significant budget to its adoption.

 

References:

Evans, J. (2013, November 9). How philosophy can save your life. TEDxBreda [Video]. YouTube. https://youtu.be/XuwYvFlNGns